My name is Carmen, mom of one busy, bubbling three year old.  I’m a child development specialist by profession, but I’ve come to realize in the last three years that the “specialist” part of my credentials is more about the grace of parenting rather than any graduate training endured.  It’s not necessarily head knowledge that is key, but what’s fashioned in the heart in the day to day loving, living and learning as a mother. Perhaps it’s a combination of both head and heart with an ample dose of God’s grace. It’s my aim to grow together in this season of teaching our children to love God, others and themselves.

With fall right around the corner, many prepare for transition as the new school year approaches.  Remember when you faced a new situation? Perhaps you didn’t know how to find the room, schedule, or maybe what to wear or what was expected of you.   Think about how overwhelming new situations must be for young children who have far less experience in dealing with the unknown. When your child is about to enter a group program, be it preschool, kindergarten or other, you both may find it hard adjusting to saying goodbye each day.  JB McCracken’s So Many Goodbyes provides insight regarding such transitions.  http://www.spanishfork.org/about/childcare/childcare3.pdf

Prepare yourself
-    Good feelings are contagious!  Be genuinely enthusiastic and confident about the upcoming change and your child will be as well.

-    Know how children typically respond to separation. Young children in the throes of separation anxiety may cry, scream or cling.  Prepare yourself with your most delightful smile and confident hug to work through the adjustment.

Prepare your child
-    Talk about the upcoming changes, placing it in context with familiar events like, “Remember how the pool opens for the summer and then closes when the days get cool? When the pool closes, it will be time for kindergarten.”

-    Visit the classroom and meet the teacher or a classmate in advance

-    Read books such as Oh My Baby, Little One by K. Appelt or I Love You All Day Long by F. Rusackas

Create comfortable routines
-    Let your child help lay out clothes or pack the lunch

-    Tuck a familiar object, note or picture in a pocket or cubby

Take time for transitions
-    Settle your child before leaving without rushing. Develop consistent routines around the separation: sign in, put things in a cubby & say goodbye from a special window.

-    Consider going in early the first few days, ahead of bustling classroom activity, to connect with a teacher.

Saying goodbye
-    Always say goodbye with a kiss, a hug, and a wave with a reminder of when you will be back.

-    Peg your return to an activity the child knows, such as the afternoon snack. You might say, “I’ll pick you up right after the afternoon snack.” Then do just that.

When you return
-    Establish a predictable pick-up schedule from the beginning to build confidence that they can count on you to come back when you said you would.

-    Talk about the day, theirs & yours, giving everyone a sense of accomplishment and togetherness.

-    Be available to your child at the end of the day, despite running low on energy and patience.

Soon the daily separation and the joy of being together again will become part of the day for everyone.  You will have met another challenge of parenting and your child will have learned that the world includes hellos and goodbyes!

Grace~
Carmen Tibbs, M.Ed/CDS
Child Development Specialist

Posted under Children