One morning a few days ago, I gave my husband a kiss as we parted going different directions to our respective places of employment.  As soon as he was out of ear shot, my very good friend Kathleen asked “Okay, what’s the matter with you two?”  I proceeded to take the next few minutes listing all the things that Ken had done in the last 48 hours that just ticked me off.    Kathleen was patient and listened.  She stood there and looked me squarely in the eyes and asked, “But what if he doesn’t come home?  What if something tragic happens during the day and one of you doesn’t make it home?  Is all the anger really worth it?” I stood there speechless.  Wow.  Suddenly all those little things that had irritated me seemed so small and inconsequential now when I looked at the whole picture instead of focusing on the right now.

Trust me, I know our husbands have a very unique way of pushing our buttons unlike anything that anyone else can.  But what if they don’t come home or we don’t make it back in that door ourselves?  No, we shouldn’t live our lives in fear, but life is what it is and things do happen.  Have we gotten so focused and caught up in being heard and our feelings not being taken for granted that we can’t even see our husbands as our lovers anymore?  Yes, he is the head of the house and your partner in bill paying and raising the children, but what happened to him being your lover?  Remember how when you were dating, your face lit up when he called or came by?  Why has marriage turned the love of your life into the man you just blew past?  I know that life happens and we all have schedules, and the kids need to be places, and someone has to cook and clean, and then there’s ministry —- STOP!!!!  Before God created the children, the church, the activities, he created man and woman and united them together.  Take the time to fall in love again with your husband as your lover.  If you have a PDA or Blackberry or even a paper calendar, look at it right now.  Where have you included time with your soul mate?  If you are like me, it’s not there.  We as women keep calendars for everything else.  Spend time with your husband and write in some time on the calendar to spend alone.  It is so easy to put our marriages on the back burner without even knowing it.  We sometimes think time alone will happen — eventually.  It won’t.  This man is the gift that God gave you.  Whether the ribbon has fallen off or the wrapping paper has become tattered or torn or even fallen off, he is still a gift from God.  Look past the exterior and fall in love again with his heart.  You will be so glad you did.

Posted under Marriage