I had a dream one night that was very weird for me because I had been a leader in church for over 10 years at the time. God often speaks to me in dreams…not because I am deep, but because I am often too busy to sit down and listen when I am awake! I dreamed that I was holding a pharmacist tray (the type that holds pills) full of jellybeans (jelly bellies …I love them). I had begun to pass the jelly beans out as I saw fit, knowing they were medicine, to certain people that I chose. Then someone hit the bottom of the pharmacist pan and my precious jelly beans flew in the air and I felt panic come over me. I realized that I always intended on giving the jelly beans to others, but it was to who I wanted and when I wanted.

Now I know that may seem like a weird dream to you. I asked God …What does this mean? As a leader I was always giving, like the jelly beans on the tray, passing out my gifts, talents, time and finances. When God allowed the individual to hit the bottom of my tray, it was to rock my safe giving world and turn it upside down. God wanted to know if I would stop divvying the gifts he had given me out one by one and let them fly so that those I did not know could have the sweet medicine also. He wanted to know if I would give so freely that I would not be in control, but allow Him to pour me out to a hurting world and trust Him to guard the gifts. As a leader I was so shocked. I thought I was doing more than enough; however, it was not what I was doing, but how I was doing it. I was playing it safe and never letting my heart fully give. Oh don’t get me wrong… I would freely give in the areas I felt safe, or things I was good at. I would also freely give in circles that I felt supported and comfortable, because Lord knows I did not want to get hurt.

We have all been hurt and so when asked to give we can be guarded with our lives and pass out our little jelly beans in the measure and to the people that make us feel comfortable. Or we can give freely without trying to control who receives it and how much we pass out. If we give in obedience to Him, He will take care of the rest! Matthew 10:6-8 says “As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. God has so lavishly poured His love on us; now let us freely give to those He loves!

Walk it out & Pray about it: this section is designed for you to take the necessary steps to live the words of this devotion in your daily life.

1. Pray and ask God to show you where you are guarded in your giving and service and then ask Him what He wants you to give in those areas.
2. Volunteer to help in an area that you have always been interested in, but were stopped because of fear.
3. Make a list of the gifts that you have been blessed with and ask God how He would like to use those gifts to build the Kingdom.

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