Communication, as we all have heard, is the foundation of any relationship, especially marriage.  To communicate means to convey feeling or thought: to transmit or reveal a feeling or thought by speech, writing, or gesture so that it is clearly understood.  The issue with communicating effectively is that in order to be able to express our thoughts clearly we have to first be aware of our thoughts. What does that mean? In order for us to convey our thoughts or feelings, we need to make sure that our thoughts and feelings line up with what God has to say about the situation.  So many times instead of taking our thoughts or feelings to our husbands and confronting them, maybe we should tell God how we are feeling about this situation first so that He can move on our behalf.  No, that doesn’t necessarily mean that He is going to go along with our game plan to confront our husbands.  Sometimes it may mean that He will correct our way of thinking first so that the confrontation can either be avoided or will be reduced to a conversation that leads to understanding and maybe resolution.

We know that we serve a God of order.  Isn’t it interesting then, that the third chapter of Colossians begins by speaking about our mindset in dealing with our thoughts, and right about the verse 18 lands us right in the middle of marriage?  Coincidental?  Not at all.  The most important relationship to God, second only to Him, is the marriage relationship.  In order for us to effectively communicate with our spouse, we have to line up our thoughts to all that is contained in the word of God.  Notice that there are only two sentences pertaining to marriage in Colossians 3.  One to the wives and the other to the husbands.  That’s it.  No long explanations needed.  Why?  Because verse 10 says it best:  we are to put on our new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.  This is to be a daily thing,  putting down anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language daily.  Doesn’t sound like the easiest thing to do, right?  It won’t be.  That’s why it has to be done daily.  Ask God for guidance and thank Him for His grace.  Verse 12 tells us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Look at that word clothe.  The word clothe means cover something up: to obscure or conceal something as if wrapping something around it.  You are probably looking at that word conceal and wondering how in the world are Christians suppose to conceal and not deal with it.  Let me explain.  If your nature is to react (yep, that means go off) instead of respond, which means to thoughtfully answer, then you need to conceal the instinct to react by wrapping that in compassion. 

And that’s where we will pick up next month….

Posted under Marriage