by Pat Earley

I absolutely love the summer months. I look forward to sitting in the sun for hours, working in the yard, planting flowers – everything to do with being outside. But just as I know that summer is only for a short time, I know that the weather will change without me doing a thing. I can choose to sulk about the warm months getting cooler or I can appreciate the last days of summer, prepare for fall, and look forward to the holidays – in essence, looking at the positive.

Marriage is a lot like the seasons of the year. Sometimes we feel like we are in the summer season where fun and laughter dominates; fall comes, and we are enjoying the beautiful colors of the tree leaves turning. Winter rolls in and yes, it’s cold. But with the winter comes the holidays filled with family and friends. Spring erupts and so does the flowers, and before we know it, summer has returned. Now with all these nature seasons, there is the yucky stuff as well. But have you ever noticed that we have a tendency to dwell on the good stuff because that’s what makes us feel good and happy and long for its return? Why isn’t that the case in our marriages? Why is so much easier for us to remember the yucky stuff than the good stuff? We can list faults for the next two hours of our husbands, but can we take that same time to think on the good things? What about the good and why do we have trouble remembering it? It’s all about perspective. Whether we realize it or not, we remember the yucky and replay it over and over until that’s all we see. So when something else happens, all the emotion that we have pent up and held onto comes blaring out. This is because in our mind the last incident just happened an hour ago when in reality it has been a year (or six months or a week) ago. But what do we do? In a word, change our mind.

We have to make up our minds that we are not going to let the enemy rob us of another minute or second of another day by dwelling on the “stuff” of our marriage. We are going to change our mind to appreciate the good and we are going to make it through the not so good. God ordained marriage and our “stuff” didn’t catch God off guard. He equipped us with everything we need to make our marriages work – including a Heavenly Father who promised to walk us through every season and to lead, guide, and never leave us. I’m not asking you to walk through your marriage oblivious to the yucky, but turn your heart instead to dwell on the good and continue to take the “stuff” to the Lord for Him to handle. It always works for out for our good.

Posted under Marriage