Think about the stories of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Rupunzel. What do they have in common? Well, there is the princess factor of course, and of course the happy endings. But there are also the bits of real life, the happy moments, the times of struggle and the inevitable bad guy; or in most of these stories, the evil woman. The strategies of each villain were different, but their intent was the same; keep the princesses away from their royal heritage.

The strategies the enemy uses on each of us, the daughters of the King of Kings, are different. But the intent is the same; keep the princess away from her royal heritage. The villain uses people and circumstances to keep you from living the life you were born to live. Tragedy, death, sickness and poverty are often a part of it. But the most consistent strategy used by the enemy against women in the 21st Century is keeping us so busy, our lives are filled with frustration and stress rather than the royal privileges of joy and peace. Has the villain in the story of your life tried that strategy with you? Have you ever found yourself so busy and so stressed that you didn’t know if you were coming or going?

Practical Help for the Real World

I’m going to start by being 100% transparent and tell you that I do NOT have all this figured out. I feel like Paul when he said, “Brethren…” okay, let’s change that up a bit. “Sistern,” no that sounds like I’m talking to a group of wells. Let’s try it this way, “Hey ladies”…“I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:13-14 NKJV

The workload involved in leading three churches, developing new leadership for additional campuses, overseeing prayer and counseling ministries, fulfilling the great commission here at home and abroad, pursuing God’s purposes for Heart to Heart, writing, teaching, preaching, being a mom and wife, AND working out everyday makes me sometimes feel like a hamster stuck on a revolving wheel. I’m sure you know the feeling; like you are running as fast as your little legs will carry you but you’re still not getting anywhere. Then I’m confronted by the scripture, “be still and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10), and I just want to sit down and have a crying jag. But of course that would take up too much time; time I don’t have, so I just keep going. It’s obvious to anyone who knows me that I haven’t quite nailed this lesson yet. But I am working on it as Christ is working on me.

I’m reminded of a song by Joel Hemphill that I taught to our children’s ministry years ago. It was called “He’s Still Working On Me” and the chorus went something like this:

He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He’s still working on me.

But that is not a bad thing. I’m a work in progress, and so are you. So I’m not coming to you as an expert, as one who has it all together. I’m coming as one who has had to work in this area A LOT. Through the journey I’ve learned to:

Choose tasks well. There are times when you have absolutely no control over what is going on in your life. You have no choice. But there are other times when you only “think” you have no control. Typically, that’s because you are being pressured by people. I can’t tell you how many times I hear in a week, “I know you are really busy, but…” There is this implied suggestion that no matter how busy you are, you MUST see to my needs. The further implication is that if you don’t…well…you are not measuring up to the standard of Christ. I don’t know if it’s the message they are trying to communicate or if it’s something internal. I just know that it is hard to refuse. I’m sure you understand because as women, we are nurturers, fixers, and pleasers by nature.

There’s this myth floating around that women can do it all, have it all and be it all. But it’s not just a fairy tale; it’s a lie from the pit. There is no such thing as superwoman. From time to time my husband calls me superwoman. I love that my husband has this opinion of me, but it’s also a problem when it causes me to try to live up to the title. Even Jesus had to say “no” on occasion. On at least one instance when told, “Hey, you’ve got to come to this town; the whole town is waiting for you to preach,” Jesus replied, “No I’m going to go to another town.” There was this one guy who told Jesus, “Arbitrate this argument between my brother and me.” Jesus politely told him, “No, that’s not my job.” So if Jesus didn’t try to be all things, to all people, at all times, why do you and I? Jesus didn’t set out to disappoint people, but that’s what often happens when you do the will of the Father rather than the will of the people. If you are pleasing God, don’t worry too much about what people think. When pressured, look to Jesus for His nod of approval before getting involved.

Know when to say NO. I think you and I often take on more than we can handle because we want to please other people, or avoid appearing lazy. Why do we do that to ourselves? It’s a form of self-abuse. The good news is that Jesus died to free you from self-guilt and self-abuse. I don’t know when you should say yes or no, but I do know that instead of giving a quick answer to people, you should take the time to pray. If you sense that this activity is just too much to take on right now, have the courage to say “no” and be OK with your decision.

Saying “no” will disappoint people but your effectiveness in the kingdom long term depends upon it. I can’t, no matter how hard I try, make everyone happy; and neither can you. But you can please the Lord. So play to an audience of one, Jesus.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:33-34 NIV

Seeking God’s kingdom purposes has to be your top priority. When it is, everything else will take its proper place. Every day ask God for HIS priorities for that day. God’s will has to be lived out on a daily basis. I suggest that at the beginning of every day, you present your schedule to God. Ask him what you should cross off; ask him what you should put on. Ask him if you are misplacing your priorities. After you have prayed over and prioritized your to-do list, stick to the plan. Quit trying to do everything.

Posted under Heart to Heart