“The Pastor’s wife is the only woman I know who is asked to work full time without pay on her husband’s job, in a role no one has yet defined.”
Ruthe White

While traveling overseas on missions I have found that regardless of geopolitical boundaries and distinctive cultural differences, pastor’s wives all face the same issues. How do you raise a family in a fish bowl? How do you deal with unrealistic expectations? You are there for everyone else, but where do you go for counsel, encouragement and direction? Has anyone ever clearly defined the role? These are serious questions that deserve serious answers. We have created this confidential site to answer these and other pressing issues of the pastorate. Please submit your questions, concerns, prayer requests and victories to help others on the front lines.

The late Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ and the Global Pastors Network, gleaned these figures from various sources a few years ago:

    * Eighty percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles.
    * Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses feel their spouse is overworked.
    * Almost 40 percent of pastors polled said they have had an extramarital affair since beginning their ministry.
    * Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
    * Eighty percent of pastors’ wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.

Were you discouraged before you read the statistics? Are you discouraged now? It get’s worse. Aren’t I just sunshine and daisies today? I have also heard that over 50 percent of pastor’s wives have no close friends in the church in which they can confide. I know that when I first started in the ministry, friends in the church were frowned upon…something about it not getting too close to the laity. HOGWASH… who developed the term laity in the first place? It is this separation in the church that has caused many of our problems. As a pastor’s wife of 30 something years, with enough scars to prove it, let me just say that you were called to lead but not to stand alone. I want to encourage you to take this matter of friends to God in prayer. Ask HIM to point out someone who is compassionate, flexible and trustworthy enough with whom you can develop a relationship. Everyone will not have the characteristics you need in a friend. But I believe there’s someone… and probably several “someones” specifically designed by God to be a good friend. You need to believe it too. Don’t do this journey alone…find someone with whom you can have a comfortable, and encouraging relationship. Make little overtures…start out slow. But start. In fact, start today.

Posted under Pastor's Wives