It’s that time of the year…back to school.  And although some mothers are rejoicing, it won’t take long for frustration to kick in.  Mornings can be a struggle as parents try to get themselves out the door on time and children seem determined to do anything but. Have you ever resorted to nagging or even raising your voice when encouragement and coaxing fail to get the desired results?  I’m past that season of life, but I remember some frantic mornings in our household.  There were times I ended up doing things the children were suppose to do just to get everyone out the door.  Those mornings often left me frustrated, exhausted and discouraged. Do you know what I mean? 

Children often make mornings difficult by arguing about what they want to eat, or debating about what clothes to wear, or by playing when they should be getting ready to leave. They often seek our attention in the morning just when we’re rushed the most.  Through trial and error our children learn when they resist, argue or stall, they get our attention, even if it’s negative attention.  For some children, any attention is good attention.  They’ve figured out that we spend more time focusing on them during times of resistance than during times of cooperation. So how do we break the rush-rush cycle of the mornings?  Here’s a couple of things l learned….the hard way.

• Make sure everybody has enough sleep and rises early enough to avoid rushing. Getting up tired or waiting until the last minute is asking for trouble. Give yourself time for some unhurried moments together before you have to leave the house.
• To save time in the morning, do things the night before. After dinner, for example, prepare lunch boxes and leave them in the fridge overnight. (Get the kids to help if they can.) And after you clear away the dinner things, set the breakfast table for the next morning.
• Ask family members to bath/shower/wash hair the night before, if possible. If a child tends to dawdle over choosing clothes, help him or her select an outfit before going to bed. Round up shoes that have gone astray to save time and possibly tears in the morning. Encourage children to prepare backpacks as well, the night before. That way, there’ll be no last-minute scramble for permission forms, lunch money or notebooks.
• When it’s time to sit down to eat, turn off the radio or TV and put aside the newspaper and enjoy time with your family.

An effective way to spur kids to become more cooperative in the morning is to promise them time together once they are ready. That means you may have to change your routine to allow enough time to fulfill your promise before you have to leave.

• Add 10 or 15 extra minutes to your usual schedule. If the child is ready on time, spend it reading, talking or at some other activity, making sure you give her/him your undivided attention during this period.
• Don’t persuade, discuss, argue or nag: Tell a child specifically what you expect (eat breakfast, put on socks, etc.) and walk away if they resist. Children must learn that resistance does not earn parental attention. It may help to remind them what is expected every five minutes or so. When children cooperate, parents should immediately share their pleasure.
• When children are old enough to join in a family discussion, sit down together, perhaps the night before, to talk about ways to make the morning better.

Do you have any suggestions you’d like to share with the Heart to Heart family?  If so, e-mail them to me at pastorc@clctoday.org.  Have a blessed morning!

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