Vacations are great.  In fact, they’re wonderful.  But unfortunately, we can’t all take a trip to the mountains every time life gets overwhelming.  We can’t say, “toddles” to jobs and responsibilities when things get rough.  But there on the deck of a mountain cabin with temperatures ranging in the 90′s with 90% humidity, God showed me ways to refresh our spirits, like taking a drink of a cool glass of ice water on a hot summer’s day.  He gave me simple things that we can do to  help make each day worth living.  Unfortunately, He didn’t give me 3 easy steps to a better life.  I wish.  But He did point out problem areas that tend to drag us all down, and simple ways to fix them. 

I’m always excited when God gives me a word or a sense of direction.  But I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about a curriculum.  It took many more hours of prayer, thought and meditation on God’s word, but I believe these lessons will be life changing…for all of us.  This is my last day in the mountains, and as I type this introduction I only have a sketchy outline of what we’re going to do this fall.  But it’s enough to know that it will be “Simply Refreshing.”

Your life is probably like mine, already so overwhelmed with family, career and ministry responsibilities that you don’t need to add something else to the calendar.  But I’ve found that a lot of women today are so busy rushing about taking care of everyone else’s needs they don’t have time for their own needs.  Even though women are more educated and capable than ever before, many of us still lack confidence, and struggle with feelings of failure and isolation.  In talking with women, here in the states and overseas I found that many need healing from wounds of their past, a sense of value and connection.  Women need to feel like they belong.  What about you?

Do you feel the need to be connected to a community of women who care about you?  Do you want people to accept you as you are, not a plastic version of the politically and spiritually correct woman that has been forced on us by religious circles and secular media?  Heart to Heart was created to be a small group ministry to help women to connect in this fast paced and stressed filled world.  It was designed to empower women through love, sharing, prayer and the ministry of the Word.  It was developed with you in mind! This term’s “Simply Refreshed” will help you to step off the treadmill of life to embrace a simpler and more revitalizing lifestyle. 

The doors open at 7:00, and as you walk in you’ll be greeted with a friendly smile and a bit of pampering.  You’ll find the room decorated with a “refreshing” theme.  You can stop at the coffee bar for flavored coffees or specialty teas and/or chat with women at the “simple” refreshment tables or you can choose just to sit and relax listening to the musical theme for the evening.  The meeting begins at 7:30 with a opening prepared by one of our small groups.  You’ll never know what they are going to do.  It could be a game, a skit, a song or prayer but it will be something that will introduce the “Word” for that night.  With your notes for the teaching, you’ll receive a devotional guide for the coming week that will help you explore a Biblical virtue that will help introduce the following week’s lesson.  After the teaching, you’ll then break into your small groups to discuss how to apply the Word to your life, and share your own testimony, concerns or needs.  Small group time will close with a season of prayer. By dismissal at 9:00 it is our hope that you’ll be refreshed by the ministry of the Word, the fellowship of great women and presence of our loving God.

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.   Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2:8-14 NKJV

Angel called it, ‘Great joy’

I don’t think we understand joy? Our culture defines it as intense and jubilant happiness, pleasure or satisfaction. But it’s hard to have “jubilant happiness” in some of the really difficult situations we experience in this life. Know what I mean? How on earth do you have euphoric, frenzied, overblown bliss in times of loss, pain or extreme pressure? I don’t think you can. But that’s not a problem, because that’s not what Biblical joy is all about. It has very little to do with our situations; it has everything to do with God. It’s holy and pure. It rises above circumstances to focus on our sovereign God.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!

Phil 4:4 NLT

I know that always being joyful might seem like a stretch, especially during the tough times. If you are talking about plain happiness, it would be downright impossible. But I’m not. I’m talking about a deep down settled joy that comes from knowing who you are in Christ; that He loves you and will always love you regardless of your circumstances or behavior. Now who could love you like that? Jesus, that’s who…and because He does, you can have joy in the most difficult of circumstances.

In Your presence is fullness of joy Psa 16:11b NKJV

“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.” Romans 4:7-8 NLT

Do you know the JOY that comes from having your past wiped away? Of being delivered from sin?

Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 2 Cor 1:9-10 ESV

Jesus, our deliverer, came to save us, to help us escape, to recover and be rescued.

· Do you know the joy of being delivered from sin and shame?

· Do you know the joy of being healed, set free, made new?

· Do you know the joy of being rescued from alcohol, prescription drugs, or any other destructive life style?

· Do you know the joy of escaping out of unhealthy habits and relationships?

· Do you know the joy of being set free from negative thought patterns, thoughts of suicide, hopeless, and despair?

Story of lame man…(Acts 3:1-11)

One day at three o’clock in the afternoon, Peter and John were on their way into the Temple for prayer meeting. At the same time there was a man crippled from birth being carried up. Every day he was set down at the Temple gate, the one named Beautiful, to beg from those going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter the Temple, he asked for a handout. Peter, with John at his side, looked him straight in the eye and said, “Look here.” He looked up, expecting to get something from them.

Peter said, “I don’t have a nickel to my name, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!” He grabbed him by the right hand and pulled him up. In an instant his feet and ankles became firm. He jumped to his feet and walked.

The man went into the Temple with them, walking back and forth, dancing and praising God. Everybody there saw him walking around and praising God. They recognized him as the one who sat begging at the Temple’s Gate Beautiful and rubbed their eyes, astonished, scarcely believing what they were seeing. The man threw his arms around Peter and John, ecstatic. I’m not talking about Christmas traditions here.

Although…I must say Christmas traditions are healthy for families. They establish continuity, create memories, and bring out the best in us. I’m not talking about going through the motions here…fake it till you make it kind of thing. I’m talking about all out celebration of who you are in God…what He has done for you and what he is going to continue to do for you. I’m talking about celebrating CHRIST, this Christmas season. That’s not dependent upon your finances, your difficult family members, or the crazy traffic this time of year. It is dependent upon JESUS!

Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound! They walk, O LORD, in the light of Your countenance. In Your name they rejoice all day long, and in Your righteousness they are exalted. For You are the glory of their strength, and in Your favor our horn is exalted. Psalm 89:15-17 NKJV
 
 

When you give a gift to someone, ideally it is something that you give freely as an expression of affection, friendship or at least respect for another.  God so loved that He gave…freely, without strings attached, unreservedly and extravagantly.   Listen to the Lover of your soul as He exclaims:

How beautiful you are, my love, how beautiful! Your eyes are soft as doves’.  Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices.  I have loved you, dear bride, with an everlasting love; with loving-kindness. I have loved you very deeply. If you could see me now you would realize that I rejoice over you with great gladness. Indeed, I dance with the joy of loving you all the while singing a happy song.  With my love, I will calm all your fears; with   my love I will protect you, for my never failing love is like the walls of a fort. How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! “My dove is hiding behind some rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see you, let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and you are lovely.” How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! Come; come swiftly to my side that we may rejoice together in our love. I am drawing you to me.  (Taken from: Jer. 31:3, Zeph 3:17, S of S 1:15, 2:14, 4:1, 10, Ps. 31:21, Mal. 1:2, 1 John 4:9, Ps. 145:8-9) 

Can you sense His love for you right now?  Do you understand how much he treasures you?  Do you realize He loved you so much that He gave you everything He was, everything He had? It has been said that if you were the only one He would have willingly, gladly given His all just for you. 

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Eph 3:17-20  (Msg)

Love is God’s very nature, and He placed that aspect of His nature within each and every one of you at the moment of conception.  Deep within every woman is the desire to be loved and to love with abandon.  You were created to love extravagantly.

Love must give, extravagantly.  But also loves unconditionally; regardless of their actions or beliefs. That’s how you’re to love your spouse, favorite family member, and co-laborers in Christ.  But this kind of extravagant love is also how you’re supposed to love your co-workers, the difficult relative and neighbors too….because that’s how God loves you…unconditionally, whether you deserve it or not.  He loves you consistently, not just when you’re good.  That’s also how He expects you to love others. 

I’m not talking about mushy love that just gives and gives and gives, and looks a lot like a door mat.  Sometimes extravagant love will need to take on the characteristics of tough love.  And I recognize that there will be times when it’s just not in us.  We’re too tired, too hurt or stressed or angry to manifest any love at all, even tough love.  At those times draw on the love of the Lord.  Ask Him to love through you ‘cause you just don’t have it in you.  Ask and it will be given to you.  Are you ready for that kind of love?  GET READY!  Because if you ask you will receive.  All my love…Chris McQuay

Children often make mornings difficult by arguing about what they want to eat, or debating about what clothes to wear, or by playing when they should be getting ready to leave. They often seek our attention in the morning just when we’re rushed the most.  Through trial and error our children learn when they resist, argue or stall, they get our attention, even if it’s negative attention.  For some children, any attention is good attention.  They’ve figured out that we spend more time focusing on them during times of resistance than during times of cooperation. So how do we break the rush-rush cycle of the mornings?  Here’s a couple of things l learned….the hard way.

• Make sure everybody has enough sleep and rises early enough to avoid rushing. Getting up tired or waiting until the last minute is asking for trouble. Give yourself time for some unhurried moments together before you have to leave the house.
• To save time in the morning, do things the night before. After dinner, for example, prepare lunch boxes and leave them in the fridge overnight. (Get the kids to help if they can.) And after you clear away the dinner things, set the breakfast table for the next morning.
• Ask family members to bath/shower/wash hair the night before, if possible. If a child tends to dawdle over choosing clothes, help him or her select an outfit before going to bed. Round up shoes that have gone astray to save time and possibly tears in the morning. Encourage children to prepare backpacks as well, the night before. That way, there’ll be no last-minute scramble for permission forms, lunch money or notebooks.
• When it’s time to sit down to eat, turn off the radio or TV and put aside the newspaper and enjoy time with your family.

An effective way to spur kids to become more cooperative in the morning is to promise them time together once they are ready. That means you may have to change your routine to allow enough time to fulfill your promise before you have to leave.

• Add 10 or 15 extra minutes to your usual schedule. If the child is ready on time, spend it reading, talking or at some other activity, making sure you give her/him your undivided attention during this period.
• Don’t persuade, discuss, argue or nag: Tell a child specifically what you expect (eat breakfast, put on socks, etc.) and walk away if they resist. Children must learn that resistance does not earn parental attention. It may help to remind them what is expected every five minutes or so. When children cooperate, parents should immediately share their pleasure.
• When children are old enough to join in a family discussion, sit down together, perhaps the night before, to talk about ways to make the morning better.

Do you have any suggestions you’d like to share with the Heart to Heart family?  If so, e-mail them to me at pastorc@clctoday.org.  Have a blessed morning!

Wow, what a great subject: one that I am sure is needed by all of us.  I really can’t guarantee that this article will make your life less complicated. I’m just going to give you some down-home advice that may help you to order your priorities and manage your responsibilities in a way that is more in tune with your values, thus creating a personal sense of well being.  

     In order to simplify your life; give yourself permission to say “no.” 

Rather than immediately responding with, “Sure, no problem.”  Respond in a Biblical manner, “This will we do, if God permit…” Hebrews 6:3 KJV  Then check with God before saying yes, even when it seems like a “no-brainer.”  We live in a society that is constantly challenging us to stretch beyond our limits and reach for the stars.  I just went to an awesome pastor’s conference whose theme was “Beyond All Limits.”  Pleads for help and demands on our time and energies lie around every corner.  But eventually we each have to accept the fact that we cannot do it all.  Freedom comes when we learn that such expectations are unrealistic and misguided.   Saying “no” frees you to say “yes” to those things that the Lord directs and brings about the greatest sense of well-being.  It allows you to “de-clutter” your life and restore balance.  It is the first step to leading a simpler life.

     In order to simplify your life; take time off to renew your energy and creativity.

“Even the soil becomes depleted if it tries to produce without a season of rest.”  T.D. Jakes.    Work and leisure are two sides of the same coin, fulfillment of God’s purposes through our lives.  We can get thrown off balance if we neglect either one.  For many on our church leadership team, I would encourage more work.  But there are some of us who need a little “R & R.”  I have told many of the ministry leaders to whom I give oversight that when I go away, even for a day, it puts me in a place where I can hear God more clearly and where my creativity gets a jump start.  It seems that away from the demands from my family and the church, I end up being more on God’s agenda rather than my own.  Get away.  You will come back a “kinder and gentler” version of yourself, more capable, more creative and more gracious to others.  PS.  While you are away, seek God’s face in order to get the maximum benefit of “down time.”

     In order to simplify your life; immediately put things back where they belong.

Who can fully calculate the time wasted looking for misplaced keys, tickets, eyeglasses, shoes, records for taxes, appliance warranties, the other sock or an earring.  I have watched my husband spend precious minutes EACH DAY looking for things.  Returning something to its place and keeping a neat working space can be an amazing investment when you also consider your frustration level.   Save yourself from this frustration and save the time for what you really need to do by designating a place for each and every item.  Enlist the cooperation of your family.  Do not do it for them.  Don’t empower them to be lazy in this area.  Organization creates harmony and lessens stress.  NO PAIN, NO GAIN!

     In order to simplify your life; identify your most productive time of the day and maximize it.

Metabolisms vary, energy levels ebb and flow, and body rhythms fluctuate.  The key to maximizing efficiency and productivity is to work with your own natural internal body rhythms.  Schedule the most challenging tasks when energy is at a peak level.  Do creative work during the time of day when creativity seems abundant.  Don’t let anything interfere with these important hours.  Making the most of them can be a key to success.  When energy and creativity begin to wane, take a break or switch to more routine chores.  Find out the what, how and why of your ole’ ticking mechanism and then live your life accordingly.  Creative tasks must always be done at your energy high peak of the day.

     In order to simplify your life;  delegate, delegate, delegate.

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.”  Harry S. Truman.  No person can be it all or do it all.  That’s why all of us eventually gets to the place where we throw up our hands and say to the dust motes in the air that we just can’t do it anymore.  Whenever possible, include others in your planning rather than waiting until the last moment to dump.  After all, sharing work often makes it more fun.  Of course, there will be tasks that only you can do, but developing a team spirit concerning those tasks that can be shared will alleviate frustration, resentment and physical exhaustion.  TRUST OTHERS to complete a job.  Allow for errors – don’t expect perfection and be quick to give rewards and praise.  Many hands truly do make light work.

     In order to simplify your life; address small problems before they become disasters.

Minor irritations rarely go away on the own.  Instead they have a way of transforming themselves into great, big, complicated messes.  You know what I mean?  Is your car making a funny sound?  Ignore it, and it’s likely to leave you stranded in the middle of a four-lane highway.  Putting off minor irritants only gives them an opportunity to become complicated problems.  Simplify your future by dealing directly with the present.

      In order to simplify your life; make lists.

This list would not be complete without talking about my famous lists.  Lists are so much a part of my life that my sanguine daughter makes them on occasion.  Making lists of things to buy, events to remember, projects, and/or chores to do is guaranteed to un-clutter your mind and create an environment where you are more efficient and less likely to make errors.  Get whatever you can out of your head and on to paper.  Written lists make prioritizing easier and planning simple.  They can help you make wiser decisions, think through a project more exactly, communicate more clearly and organize more effectively.  But remember:

·         Be realistic about your lists and the time that will be required to complete each task.  We are not talking about your ideal day.  We are talking about your day with interruptions and complications.  Be realistic about your lists.

·         Keep your lists out in the open and cross off as you go, or your list is worthless.  Besides, crossing things off your list can give you a real rush.  REWARD yourself.

·         Bring your paper to your time with God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to plan your day.

·         Do not become married to the list.  There is no commitment here other than the commitment to stay focused and effective.  If you need to chuck the list some days…chuck it!

     In order to simplify your life; help when you can, but don’t own other people’s problems.

“When you do for a man what he can and should do for himself, you do him a disservice.”  Benjamin Franklin.   When someone needs help, advice or simply an ear, listen objectively and empathetically.  Allow others to fully vent their feelings and voice their concerns.  If they want input, offer your opinions, HOWEVER, under no circumstances try to solve the problem yourself.  If you ever feel like you have been “sucked in” or have become too involved…you have.  DO NOT take on responsibilities.  It doesn’t really help the other person in the long run, believe me, and it only brings more stress and aggravation into your life. 

Do you have a suggestion for simplifying life?  E-mail me with your ideas to: pastorc@clctoday.org.  Thanks and have a simply wonderful day!

God lovingly, with infinite attention to detail, created you for Himself.  He shaped you to fit in the arms of His embrace to dance with Him.  Listen to the Lover of your soul as He exclaims:

How beautiful you are, my love, how beautiful! Your eyes are soft as doves’.  Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices.  I have loved you, dear bride, with an everlasting love; with loving-kindness. I have loved you very deeply. If you could see me now you would realize that I rejoice over you with great gladness. Indeed, I dance with the joy of loving you all the while singing a happy song.  With my love, I will calm all your fears; with   my love I will protect you, for my never failing love is like the walls of a fort. How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! “My dove is hiding behind some rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see you, let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and you are lovely.” How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! Come; come swiftly to my side that we may rejoice together in our love. I am drawing you to me.  (Taken from: Jer. 31:3, Zeph 3:17, S of S 1:15, 2:14, 4:1, 10, Ps. 31:21, Mal. 1:2, 1 John 4:9, Ps. 145:8-9)

Can you sense His love for you right now?  Do you understand how much he treasures you?  Do you realize He loved you so much that He gave you everything He was, everything He had? It has been said that if you were the only one He would have willingly, gladly given His all just for you. 

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph 3:17-20  (Msg)

He fashioned you, shaped you, and created you in love.  He made you to dance with Him.  Why is it that we turn from the Lover of our souls, and put other people and other things in the place designed only for Him?  I don’t think we just wake up one morning and think; I’m going to let someone else take the place of my Jesus.  I think it happens over a period of time as we allow people and things to crowd out our devotion time with the Lord.

Devotions are our intimate times with Jesus away from the daily rush of activity.  It’s where we’re formed into Christ’s likeness.  It’s where we learn about Him.  It’s where we express our love and dependency on Him.   It’s where we receive guidance and direction.  It’s during these times of intimacy with God, when no one else is listening, when no one else is watching, that God forms us, reforms us from the inside out.  Our one-on-one times with Jesus are the most important moments of our day.  It determines who we are and what we accomplish.  This marvelous dance of intimacy with the Lover of our soul forms us from the inside out.  So what’s hindering your times of intimacy with the Lord?  What keeps you out of His arms?

Hindrances to Our Dance Time

1.            The “BLANKETS”  - When establishing a quiet time, you will face your first problem the moment you wake each morning: “Am I going to get out of bed?”  Suggestions:

·         Go to bed on time. You really don’t need a dose of late night TV before you go to bed.  Try this experiment for one month: go to bed ½ hour earlier, and see if after time you don’t have less of a problem getting out of bed.

·         Get up IMMEDIATELY.  “No snooze for youze.”

·         Establish a healthy lifestyle.  This includes exercise and watching your diet.  I’m not advocating seaweed and tofu, but watch your junk food intake.  A lot of that stuff is just that, junk, and it slows down your system and robs you of energy.

2.     “DISTRACTIONS”  - Satan will try to use anything to get your mind to wander during a quiet time.  Suggestions:

§        Get thoroughly AWAKE.

§        Read and pray ALOUD.

§        WALK during your prayer time.

§        Purposefully eliminate all distractions:   Story of me and dirty house.

§        Keep a JOURNAL.

3.     The “BLAHS”  - Sometimes you will feel like you’re not getting anything out of your quiet time.  Never judge your quiet time by your FEELINGS.  Possible Causes of Spiritual Dryness: 

·         Your physical condition.  Our bodies are wonderfully complex; God’s workmanship is marvelous.  (Ps 139:14)  When our bodies are sick, God created several means by which our bodies can heal themselves.  One of those factors is that when we are ill, we “feel” depressed.  God designed this feature so that we would slow down and rest so that the body could repair itself.  If you are depressed and dragging because of illness, go to bed…rest.  Talk to God there.  

·         Rushing your quiet time.  Think about running around trying to get 12 hours worth of work done in six hours and then getting a phone call from your child or spouse right before the deadline.   It would be hard to really concentrate on all of the nuances of their conversation with all the other stuff crowding our minds.  It is no different with God.  We need to quiet our spirit prior to walking to our “prayer closet.”  (Ps. 46:10)  Breathe deeply, and purposefully empty out your mind of all of the “junk.”  Then focus on God.

4.     “RELIGIOUS SPIRIT”  -  A dance should be smooth, flowing, an expression of the people moving.  Have you ever seen someone dance who is stiff and overly formal?  Not a pretty sight, is it?  Your dance with Jesus should be a natural expression of who you are.  You don’t have to use a certain tone of voice.  You don’t have to say just the right thing.  You certainly shouldn’t be stiff and cover what you’re feeling.  Be honest.  Be open.  Be real.  Let Jesus lead.  Ask Him questions; don’t just give him a “honey do list.”  Love on Him.  Allow Him to love on you.  Give Him permission to smooth out the rough spots.  Allow Him to shape you from the inside out, while no one else is watching.

What people see is the outward results of an inward work that is accomplished in the intimacy of a dance with the Lord.  I would love to be able to lead us into a quiet place of intimacy with our Beloved today.  For there is no other place I would rather be, than in His glorious presence.  In His presence is fullness of joy, and at His right hand, there are pleasures for evermore.  In His presence there is peace.  In His presence, there is understanding and insight.

Do you hear Him calling?  When you hear His voice, do all other sounds that clamor for your attention grow faint.  Listen to Him now.  The Lord is personally issuing you an invitation today to a sheltered and secret place of communion, where you will finally learn to recognize His great love for you, and learn how much He truly values you…to a place where you are formed from the inside out.

“My beloved speaks and says to me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.  (So I went with him, and when we were climbing the rocky steps up the hillside, my beloved shepherd said to me) O my dove (while you are there) in the seclusion of the clefts in the solid rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.”  Song of Solomon 2:10, 14 AMP

2 Tim 2:21 AMP

We had just brought my daughter home from the hospital after back surgery. It was a horrible experience. She was in such excruciating pain.  I just didn’t know how we were ever going to even get her into the vehicle, let alone drive the ½ hour home and then get her into the basement. She nearly passed out in therapy just trying to do three steps. But somehow by the grace of God we got her home. But it was an experience I never want to have to repeat in my life time. I was sitting down in my daughter’s apartment in our basement, waiting to assist her in any way that I was needed. She couldn’t even get out of bed, turn over, or do anything for herself at this point. I was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained, but I knew that this term for H2H was right around the bend and I needed to get God’s heart for what He wanted to do in and through us.

I sat there and cried out for my own need of personal strength and the direction I needed to lead God’s girls. Once the tears dried, I opened my Bible and began to read. I was reading in the Epistles, and it hit me how practical these letters to the early church were. How practical they are for us today. I thought, “You know, if women actually lived this stuff, we could change our world.” It was then that I knew that’s what God wanted. He wanted to remind us exactly how we are suppose to be living our lives in accordance with His Word. I think there’s often a disconnect when we read God’s word. We’re so busy looking for help for that day, for strength and direction, that somehow we overlook some very clear instructions for how we’re supposed to live our lives.

My desire for beginning Heart to Heart was to help women like you see yourself as God sees you; complete in Him, valuable to Him, adored by Him. I’ve often dreamed of what could be accomplished by women who really know who they are, women who accept their purpose, and rest in God’s love. It would be amazing.  As we receive an understanding of how deeply, and passionately God loves us and how valuable we are to Him, that love will be so big, so wonderful that it will overflow from our heart to others. That’s it. Love from God’s heart, to our hearts to others.

You’ve heard me say all of this before. But it was in that basement apartment that I realized I had missed a critical element. Once we embrace God’s love, we must also embrace God’s Word. If we are truly going to change our world for Christ, then we are going to need to live our lives in accordance with His Word. It probably doesn’t sound like much of a revelation, but it rocked me that afternoon. In all of my trying to help women know they are loved and valued by God, I’d failed to add the P.S.

P.S. Receiving God’s love is the first step, receiving God’s instructions for daily living is the next.

In the past our lessons were filled with stories from God’s word, fairy tales and my own fertile imagination. This term there will be no stories except from personal experience. Instead, we are going to focus our attention on the Word itself, often going verse by verse or quality by quality. But it’s not going to be dry or boring. I hate boring, don’t you? The Word of God is alive, powerful and sharper than any two edged sword, so it’s not going to be boring…just different.

But some things are going to stay the same. We’ll still have “Little Hearts”, small groups for children with lessons that correlate with ours. This term it’s called, “Xtreme Kids.” They should have a blast. We are still going to begin with a time of pampering, food, fellowship and worship. After the Bible lesson, we’ll continue to break into small groups to discuss how we can apply the Word to our lives, and also for a time of sharing and prayer. We still have a vibrant small group for Hispanics. And we will still have a warm and welcoming environment in which all of this happens. Meetings this term will be on Wednesday evenings, March 11th, 18th, 25th, April 1st, 8th, 15th. Our schedule:

6:30 – 7:00: Set Up

7:00 – 7:15: Time of prayer & encouragement for Leaders

7:15 – 7:30: pampering, food and fellowship

7:30 – 7:40: Praise & Prayer

7:40 – 8:15: Teaching

8:15 – 8:50: Small Group Discussion

8:50 – 9:00 Children pick up and prayer in the multipurpose room

9:00 – Fellowship as long as you like but your children must stay with you in the Multipurpose room after 8:50

But it is not stopping with our small groups. Heart to Heart has created a website to help women with issues that touch their hearts. <http://www.h2hworldwide.com/> . There are articles about everything from simple home maintenance to parenting. Whatever topic interests you is just a click away. There are devotions, a creative corner, a place to submit prayer requests and a site just for pastor’s wives.

The website is just beginning of our vision to touch women’s hearts world wide. The small group curriculum has already been translated into Spanish and is presently being translated into French. Our goal is to translate the curriculum into many of the languages of the underserved nations of the world. There has been so little information available to Christian women in some of these countries in the past. If you know someone who is able and willing to translate the curriculum into another language, please contact me at pastorc@clctoday.org. We are also sponsoring Heart to Heart Conferences in different nations. Just as Heart to Heart was a fresh approach for women’s ministry here in the states, we plan to make these conferences unique to the nation they are serving.

Our annual retreat will be April 23rd – 25th . Last year was AWESOME, and we are expecting a wonderful time again this year with the theme, “Handcrafted.” See fliers for information.

Lastly, our vision is to support organizations that minister to women in need in our region. We want to provide hurting women with spiritual support through our small groups, education, fellowship, Christian counseling and possibly extend housing beyond the emergency shelter status. We want to help inform and educate the Christian community regarding women’s issues including domestic violence, abuse, marriage, parenting and leadership. Phew…all that, and more.

But even with such lofty goals and visions, we don’t want to forget you. This all started because of you and you will continue to be our focus. You are the reason for H2H…and the reason why we are now a non-profit organization. If there is a better way that we can help you understand how deeply you are loved and valued by God, please don’t hesitate to tell us.

All my love,

Pastor Chris McQuay

Many times the cares of this life pushes us off focus, and/or the press of activity causes us to drift in our Christian walk.  We end up sliding into a season when we are really not open and honest with God, others, or ourselves.  We included lessons, activities, ministry and connection times during this retreat to help you evaluate where you are in your walk with God.   How “sincere” is your devotion to God? 

We are able to love God, because He first loved us.  He loved us unreservedly and extravagantly.  Can you sense His love for you right now?  He loved you so much that He gave you everything He was, everything He had. It has often been said that if you were the only person on this earth, He would have willingly, even gladly given His all…just for you. 

And I ask him that, with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in, with all Christians, the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around, but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph 3:17-20  (Msg)

I have a strong sense that some of you are at a place in your lives where it’s difficult for you to receive God’s love and nearly impossible for you to return it with sincere devotion.  That’s because of father wounds…wounds caused in your childhood and early adulthood by men and in some cases women, who hurt you rather than nurtured you.

You may have had withdrawn, passive fathers who were there physically but missing in action emotionally. A father or mother’s silence can be just as devastating as any kind of abuse.  It leaves a child wondering; “do I matter?”… “do they love me?”… “Am I worthy of being loved?”

You may be from a family ripped apart by divorce.  When a child’s father leaves, in spite of what their father may say or the time he spends with them on weekends, the roaring silence of Dad’s missing presence during the week causes a child to think, “did Dad leave because I didn’t mean anything to him? … Surely he wouldn’t have left if he loved me… I have must done something wrong… I must not be worth much.”

You may have been abused verbally, physically or even sexually by your father, mother or other family members, and you are thinking right now that a passive father would have been a blessing. The message of “you’re a piece of worthless junk that no one could love” was violently pounded into you until it became the overriding truth of your life. How can you receive love from another if someone from your family says you’re a piece of worthless trash?

What do you do with deep wounds within?

1.      Pray…ask God to lead you in the process of healing.

1. Face the truth. When I bring up father wound issues I have often heard, “well, my parents did the best they could.”  Defending our parents is a natural response born out of love, but it’s also used to avoid feeling the pain. We are hurt deepest by the people we love and need the most, and there is no deeper wound than the one that comes from our father. Running or denial won’t resolve a father wound; it must be faced.
2. Receive meaningful touches.  You need to be hugged consistently and often. If you’re not, begin creating a support network of people who will touch you in a godly, loving manner. Oh yes, and this needs to be reciprocal.
3. Hear spoken messages.  Really hear, listen to people who tell you they love you.  Don’t shrug it off.  Receive the words. You need to hear the words “I love you” consistently and often.  And if your circle of friends and family don’t say the words…train them to do so.

1.  Journal your emotions, the Lord may show you some issues that you need to deal with. Bitterness of heart often accompanies the pain of rejection, and the Lord could reveal the need to forgive your Dad and shower him with grace.  Allow yourself to grieve what you didn’t have with your father; doing so validates what you went through and provides an outlet for the pent up emotion within. 

1. Write a letter to express how you were hurt. Tell your father what you needed from him growing up; how you wanted to hear him tell you he loved you more often, or feel his touch, or how you wish you could have had more time together. Say this in a non-condemning way.  What’s done is done, and the purpose of this letter is not to throw stones, but to heal. Then, forgive your father. Your forgiveness will cost you a lot, so don’t write these words lightly.

1. We do this so that we can begin to fill the empty chamber of our heart that can be filled by one person. This chamber is set at the center core of the heart, and it’s marked “For God alone.” No person, thing, or experience has the ability to touch or fill this part of the heart.  It is here in our journey where we turn toward His throne room. When we receive His love that’s when we can return it with Sincere Devotion…

Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Deut 6:5 (Msg)

Devotion means ardent, often selfless affection and dedication.  It’s a word that is often used to describe our “quiet times” with the Lord.  And although they may be quiet, there should be nothing passive about devotion to God.  Devotion should express our warmth of feeling, our passion for God.  Yes, devotion is expressing our strong feelings with fervent enthusiasm, but it is also BEING consecrated and dedicated. 

So don’t just do something, sit there!

Luke 10:38-42:  When Jesus entered the village of Bethany, a woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”  The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it — it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

We usually give Martha a bad time over this passage.  But we need to understand that Martha wasn’t exactly faulted for her service.  She was corrected for that attitude in which she served.  Bad attitudes = Bad service in God’s economy.  The only way I know to keep the ole attitude right is to allow God to serve us before we serve others.  Allow God to minister to you first, and then minister to Him in prayer.  Devotion is a two way street. 

SINCERELY YOURS,

Chris McQuay

We are able to love God, because He first loved us.  He loved us unreservedly and extravagantly.  Can you sense His love for you right now?  He loved you so much that He gave you everything He was, everything He had. It has often been said that if you were the only person on this earth, He would have willingly, even gladly given His all…just for you. 

And I ask him that, with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in, with all Christians, the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around, but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph 3:17-20  (Msg)

I have a strong sense that some of you are at a place in your lives where it’s difficult for you to receive God’s love and nearly impossible for you to return it with sincere devotion.  That’s because of father wounds…wounds caused in your childhood and early adulthood by men and in some cases women, who hurt you rather than nurtured you.

You may have had withdrawn, passive fathers who were there physically but missing in action emotionally. A father or mother’s silence can be just as devastating as any kind of abuse.  It leaves a child wondering; “do I matter?”… “do they love me?”… “Am I worthy of being loved?”

You may be from a family ripped apart by divorce.  When a child’s father leaves, in spite of what their father may say or the time he spends with them on weekends, the roaring silence of Dad’s missing presence during the week causes a child to think, “did Dad leave because I didn’t mean anything to him? … Surely he wouldn’t have left if he loved me… I have must done something wrong… I must not be worth much.”

You may have been abused verbally, physically or even sexually by your father, mother or other family members, and you are thinking right now that a passive father would have been a blessing. The message of “you’re a piece of worthless junk that no one could love” was violently pounded into you until it became the overriding truth of your life. How can you receive love from another if someone from your family says you’re a piece of worthless trash?

What do you do with deep wounds within?

1.      Pray…ask God to lead you in the process of healing.

1. Face the truth. When I bring up father wound issues I have often heard, “well, my parents did the best they could.”  Defending our parents is a natural response born out of love, but it’s also used to avoid feeling the pain. We are hurt deepest by the people we love and need the most, and there is no deeper wound than the one that comes from our father. Running or denial won’t resolve a father wound; it must be faced.
2. Receive meaningful touches.  You need to be hugged consistently and often. If you’re not, begin creating a support network of people who will touch you in a godly, loving manner. Oh yes, and this needs to be reciprocal.
3. Hear spoken messages.  Really hear, listen to people who tell you they love you.  Don’t shrug it off.  Receive the words. You need to hear the words “I love you” consistently and often.  And if your circle of friends and family don’t say the words…train them to do so.

1.  Journal your emotions, the Lord may show you some issues that you need to deal with. Bitterness of heart often accompanies the pain of rejection, and the Lord could reveal the need to forgive your Dad and shower him with grace.  Allow yourself to grieve what you didn’t have with your father; doing so validates what you went through and provides an outlet for the pent up emotion within. 

1. Write a letter to express how you were hurt. Tell your father what you needed from him growing up; how you wanted to hear him tell you he loved you more often, or feel his touch, or how you wish you could have had more time together. Say this in a non-condemning way.  What’s done is done, and the purpose of this letter is not to throw stones, but to heal. Then, forgive your father. Your forgiveness will cost you a lot, so don’t write these words lightly.

1. We do this so that we can begin to fill the empty chamber of our heart that can be filled by one person. This chamber is set at the center core of the heart, and it’s marked “For God alone.” No person, thing, or experience has the ability to touch or fill this part of the heart.  It is here in our journey where we turn toward His throne room. When we receive His love that’s when we can return it with Sincere Devotion…

Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Deut 6:5 (Msg)

Devotion means ardent, often selfless affection and dedication.  It’s a word that is often used to describe our “quiet times” with the Lord.  And although they may be quiet, there should be nothing passive about devotion to God.  Devotion should express our warmth of feeling, our passion for God.  Yes, devotion is expressing our strong feelings with fervent enthusiasm, but it is also BEING consecrated and dedicated. 

So don’t just do something, sit there!

Luke 10:38-42:  When Jesus entered the village of Bethany, a woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”  The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it — it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

We usually give Martha a bad time over this passage.  But we need to understand that Martha wasn’t exactly faulted for her service.  She was corrected for that attitude in which she served.  Bad attitudes = Bad service in God’s economy.  The only way I know to keep the ole attitude right is to allow God to serve us before we serve others.  Allow God to minister to you first, and then minister to Him in prayer.  Devotion is a two way street. 

SINCERELY YOURS,

Chris McQuay