Working Mothers have one of the most rewarding professions. Our day starts at dawn and usually ends well after everyone has gone to bed. We are multi-tasking individuals who are always planning for the days ahead. God has created us to be nurturing and supportive of our families, but sometimes we fail to include ourselves in that equation. So the question I ask is, “How do we manage all the things that we do, and still have time for ourselves?”

One thing for sure, if there is something we want to do we can always make time. Think of it like this, we make appointments for everything else in our life, so why not make an appointment with yourself? Put yourself in your calendar, plan time for prayer, exercise, and of course something fun to do as well. Make yourself a priority like we do with so many other things. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant; it can be as simple as a candle lit bubble bath while the children are doing their homework. Try trading times with another working mom by babysitting for her one evening a week in exchange for some alone time for yourself. Another suggestion I would like to offer is, if you are married ask your husband what his schedule is, so that he can take care of the children while you take sometime to relax.

My mother used to say that time doesn’t wait on anyone. When I was younger I didn’t really understand what that meant, but as I get older it seems like the days pass by so quickly. When this article is posted we will be in the year 2010, let us consider taking a little time for ourselves, so that we are happier, healthier, and can be a blessing to others.

Each of us is irreplaceable, one of a kind…priceless!  And sometimes I wonder if it isn’t like a slap in God’s face when we refuse who He made us to be and want to be something else.  I know that my destiny, the reason I was put on the planet, will involve other people, will help others and will require others.  That much is the same for all of us.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it like this:  “Everyone has the power of greatness, not for fame but greatness, because greatness is determined by service.”  Together we can accomplish great things, but only if each of us likes who she is, knows her purpose and is confidently committed to fulfilling it.  I’m not talking about self-centered, self-serving, and self-indulgent confidence.  I am talking about the confidence that comes from a sense of security, the confidence that allows you to help someone else, the confidence that allows you to give to someone else…DOES NOT DRIVE YOU!

King David said it this way:  “I am wonderfully made and I know it full well.”

ASK YOURSELF: 

1. What do you see when you look in the mirror?

1. What makes you special?  What is it that makes God smile when He thinks about you?

1. Do you know your purpose?  What is it?

1. What is your passion?

My desire for beginning Heart to Heart was to help women like you see yourself as God sees you; complete in Him, valuable to Him, adored by Him. I’ve often dreamed of what could be accomplished by women who really know who they are, women who accept their purpose, and rest in God’s love. It would be amazing.  As we receive an understanding of how deeply, and passionately God loves us and how valuable we are to Him, that love will be so big, so wonderful that it will overflow from our heart to others. That’s it. Love from God’s heart, to our hearts to others. 
 
 You’ve heard me say all of this before. But it was in that basement apartment that I realized I had missed a critical element. Once we embrace God’s love, we must also embrace God’s Word. If we are truly going to change our world for Christ, then we are going to need to live our lives in accordance with His Word. It probably doesn’t sound like much of a revelation, but it rocked me that afternoon. In all of my trying to help women know they are loved and valued by God, I’d failed to add the P.S. 
 
P.S. Receiving God’s love is the first step, receiving God’s instructions for daily living is the next.
 
In the past our lessons were filled with stories from God’s word, fairy tales and my own fertile imagination. This term there will be no stories except from personal experience. Instead, we are going to focus our attention on the Word itself, often going verse by verse or quality by quality. But it’s not going to be dry or boring. I hate boring, don’t you? The Word of God is alive, powerful and sharper than any two edged sword, so it’s not going to be boring…just different.
 
 But some things are going to stay the same. We’ll still have “Little Hearts”, small groups for children with lessons that correlate with ours. This term it’s called, “Xtreme Kids.” They should have a blast. We are still going to begin with a time of pampering, food, fellowship and worship. After the Bible lesson, we’ll continue to break into small groups to discuss how we can apply the Word to our lives, and also for a time of sharing and prayer. We still have a vibrant small group for Hispanics. And we will still have a warm and welcoming environment in which all of this happens. Meetings this term will be on Wednesday evenings, March 11th, 18th, 25th, April 1st, 8th, 15th. Our schedule:
 
6:30 – 7:00: Set Up

7:00 – 7:15: Time of prayer & encouragement for Leaders

7:15 – 7:30: pampering, food and fellowship

7:30 – 7:40: Praise & Prayer

7:40 – 8:15: Teaching

8:15 – 8:50: Small Group Discussion

8:50 – 9:00 Children pick up and prayer in the multipurpose room

9:00 – Fellowship as long as you like but your children must stay with you in the 
              multipurpose room after 8:50

But it is not stopping with our small groups. Heart to Heart has created a website to help women with issues that touch their hearts. <http://www.h2hworldwide.com/> . There are articles about everything from simple home maintenance to parenting. Whatever topic interests you is just a click away. There are devotions, a creative corner, a place to submit prayer requests and a site just for pastor’s wives.
 
 The website is just beginning of our vision to touch women’s hearts world wide. The small group curriculum has already been translated into Spanish and is presently being translated into French. Our goal is to translate the curriculum into many of the languages of the underserved nations of the world. There has been so little information available to Christian women in some of these countries in the past. If you know someone who is able and willing to translate the curriculum into another language, please contact me at pastorc@clctoday.org. We are also sponsoring Heart to Heart Conferences in different nations. Just as Heart to Heart was a fresh approach for women’s ministry here in the states, we plan to make these conferences unique to the nation they are serving. 
 
Our annual retreat will be April 23rd – 25th . Last year was AWESOME, and we are expecting a wonderful time again this year with the theme, “Handcrafted.” See fliers for information.
 
Lastly, our vision is to support organizations that minister to women in need in our region. We want to provide hurting women with spiritual support through our small groups, education, fellowship, Christian counseling and possibly extend housing beyond the emergency shelter status. We want to help inform and educate the Christian community regarding women’s issues including domestic violence, abuse, marriage, parenting and leadership. Phew…all that, and more. 

But even with such lofty goals and visions, we don’t want to forget you. This all started because of you and you will continue to be our focus. You are the reason for H2H…and the reason why we are now a non-profit organization. If there is a better way that we can help you understand how deeply you are loved and valued by God, please don’t hesitate to tell us. 
 
All my love,
 
Pastor Chris McQuay

Many times the cares of this life pushes us off focus, and/or the press of activity causes us to drift in our Christian walk.  We end up sliding into a season when we are really not open and honest with God, others, or ourselves.  We included lessons, activities, ministry and connection times during this retreat to help you evaluate where you are in your walk with God.   How “sincere” is your devotion to God? 

We are able to love God, because He first loved us.  He loved us unreservedly and extravagantly.  Can you sense His love for you right now?  He loved you so much that He gave you everything He was, everything He had. It has often been said that if you were the only person on this earth, He would have willingly, even gladly given His all…just for you. 

And I ask him that, with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in, with all Christians, the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around, but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph 3:17-20  (Msg)

I have a strong sense that some of you are at a place in your lives where it’s difficult for you to receive God’s love and nearly impossible for you to return it with sincere devotion.  That’s because of father wounds…wounds caused in your childhood and early adulthood by men and in some cases women, who hurt you rather than nurtured you.

You may have had withdrawn, passive fathers who were there physically but missing in action emotionally. A father or mother’s silence can be just as devastating as any kind of abuse.  It leaves a child wondering; “do I matter?”… “do they love me?”… “Am I worthy of being loved?”

You may be from a family ripped apart by divorce.  When a child’s father leaves, in spite of what their father may say or the time he spends with them on weekends, the roaring silence of Dad’s missing presence during the week causes a child to think, “did Dad leave because I didn’t mean anything to him? … Surely he wouldn’t have left if he loved me… I have must done something wrong… I must not be worth much.”

You may have been abused verbally, physically or even sexually by your father, mother or other family members, and you are thinking right now that a passive father would have been a blessing. The message of “you’re a piece of worthless junk that no one could love” was violently pounded into you until it became the overriding truth of your life. How can you receive love from another if someone from your family says you’re a piece of worthless trash?

What do you do with deep wounds within?

1.      Pray…ask God to lead you in the process of healing.

1. Face the truth. When I bring up father wound issues I have often heard, “well, my parents did the best they could.”  Defending our parents is a natural response born out of love, but it’s also used to avoid feeling the pain. We are hurt deepest by the people we love and need the most, and there is no deeper wound than the one that comes from our father. Running or denial won’t resolve a father wound; it must be faced.
2. Receive meaningful touches.  You need to be hugged consistently and often. If you’re not, begin creating a support network of people who will touch you in a godly, loving manner. Oh yes, and this needs to be reciprocal.
3. Hear spoken messages.  Really hear, listen to people who tell you they love you.  Don’t shrug it off.  Receive the words. You need to hear the words “I love you” consistently and often.  And if your circle of friends and family don’t say the words…train them to do so.

1.  Journal your emotions, the Lord may show you some issues that you need to deal with. Bitterness of heart often accompanies the pain of rejection, and the Lord could reveal the need to forgive your Dad and shower him with grace.  Allow yourself to grieve what you didn’t have with your father; doing so validates what you went through and provides an outlet for the pent up emotion within. 

1. Write a letter to express how you were hurt. Tell your father what you needed from him growing up; how you wanted to hear him tell you he loved you more often, or feel his touch, or how you wish you could have had more time together. Say this in a non-condemning way.  What’s done is done, and the purpose of this letter is not to throw stones, but to heal. Then, forgive your father. Your forgiveness will cost you a lot, so don’t write these words lightly.

1. We do this so that we can begin to fill the empty chamber of our heart that can be filled by one person. This chamber is set at the center core of the heart, and it’s marked “For God alone.” No person, thing, or experience has the ability to touch or fill this part of the heart.  It is here in our journey where we turn toward His throne room. When we receive His love that’s when we can return it with Sincere Devotion…

Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Deut 6:5 (Msg)

Devotion means ardent, often selfless affection and dedication.  It’s a word that is often used to describe our “quiet times” with the Lord.  And although they may be quiet, there should be nothing passive about devotion to God.  Devotion should express our warmth of feeling, our passion for God.  Yes, devotion is expressing our strong feelings with fervent enthusiasm, but it is also BEING consecrated and dedicated. 

So don’t just do something, sit there!

Luke 10:38-42:  When Jesus entered the village of Bethany, a woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”  The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it — it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

We usually give Martha a bad time over this passage.  But we need to understand that Martha wasn’t exactly faulted for her service.  She was corrected for that attitude in which she served.  Bad attitudes = Bad service in God’s economy.  The only way I know to keep the ole attitude right is to allow God to serve us before we serve others.  Allow God to minister to you first, and then minister to Him in prayer.  Devotion is a two way street. 

SINCERELY YOURS,

Chris McQuay

{Excerpt from my upcoming book, A Shepherd’s Heart}/Part II

To understand the responsibility shepherds in the church have to love their sheep, we could easily reflect on the shepherding occupation. However, we need to go where love originated. And, so, the best way to grasp how a shepherd is to love his flock is to look at God’s way of shepherding us. It’s God’s sacrificial, unconditional love that church leaders should willingly give to their people.

AGAPE love = the unconditional love of God.

Agape love is selfless love. God’s love for us is exactly this—a selfless love of action. To know God is to know love. God’s love for us has no strings attached. Simply, it is what it is, which makes it so pure.

Every leader needs to understand the love that God offers. Yet, what if you just don’t know how to love? Much is required from a leader, like: respecting those under you and mentoring those you lead. Moreover, you need to pray for your sheep too. Obviously, shepherds are expected to give a lot—to whom much is given, much is required. But love is something God takes seriously. If something is hindering you from loving, you need to go to first to the Father for help. Pray for healing. Be aware that all are fully capable of love. But, if you’ve been taught the wrong way to love, or if you’re harboring unforgiveness in your heart, etc., your love towards others will be hindered. If you don’t know what love is, God has clearly explained it in I Corinthians 13:4-7:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(NIV)

As God commanded for man, we’re to love all (I John 3:23). Loving one another is an example of how God loves us. Why He created us and why He sent his son to die for us. Adulterers, criminals, drug addicts, atheist—God loves all. God never said loving all would be easy. But it is a command, and what He requires from us. Choose to walk in love (2 John 1:6).

Leaders lead by example. Show your sheep that no matter what…good or bad…you can still love them. Love them so they can learn how to love God’s way. Love can be caught. If you’re not throwing it out there, nobody’s catching.  Lead to make a difference.

Remember, it’s God’s unconditional love that separates the church from the world. Love, with no strings attached, is attainable through God. Once you understand love’s potency, you can stand against all that the enemy would love to rob from you or your sheep. Love’s power shouldn’t be underestimated. Researchers have proven that “feel good” hormones (serotonin) get released when people feel loved. Single-handedly love can accomplish a lot… heal, restore, and build up. Love allows for change.  Give the people what they need. Spread the love and watch the transformation occur.

In 1994, Patreice joined Christian Life Center in Tinley Park.  Initially, Patreice worked as a teacher in the church’s preschool.  But eventually Patreice diligently served in various ministries throughout the church. In the late ‘90s, Patreice obediently became a youth minister, happily serving alongside her husband, Pastor Dan. Answering her many callings at the Tinley Park campus, surrounded by family and friends and enjoying the church growth gave Patreice the security she needed. But as comfortable as Patreice’s surroundings were, God had bigger plans for the Johnson family.  He wanted Patreice and her family to live in a town they’ve never heard of (even though He has), and start a church in an area they’ve never been (but God was waiting). Out of obedience, the Johnsons followed God as He led them to an area thirsty for His love.

Understand that when God calls us to do things, waiting until we’re ready isn’t always an option. Time is of the essence. Thankfully the Johnsons answered the call on their lives. Not knowing the outcome, through faith they stepped out and allowed God to do the rest.

Within months the Johnsons were able to find a church building for the second Christian Life Center campus, as well as form a launch team of 50+ people to help start the new church.  In just one year, Pat’s small step of obedience had reaped a multitude of blessings. Not only did the church membership triple, but the outreach ministry, particularly the Food Pantry, helped to lead 58 people to Christ.

Obedience always reaps blessings. Not only does the obedient one get rewarded, but like Christian Life Center in Shorewood, the entire congregation and community has benefited as well. Patreice’s testimony is an inspiration for those that hesitate when God says, “Go!” Know that if we do our part, God will definitely do His.

In Luke 1:26, we see a young teenage Mary ready to get married.  However, Gabriel the archangel appeared to tell her that God had other plans for her.  Gabriel had good news.  God had chosen Mary to carry the Messiah.  As wonderful as this news was, Mary didn’t leap for joy.  Like any woman, the preparation for marriage can be both exciting and stressful, but in the end it’s worth it.  But everything Mary imagined was being altered.  Initially, Mary was troubled by the news. Yet despite her concern, she agreed to become a virgin mother for God and the world.

Bravely, Mary accepted God’s gift to her.  But just as Mary accepted God’s gift, she gave God a gift too.  She gave herself—what an awesome gift exchange.  And what a joy and honor it was for Mary to be handpicked by God to do such a great thing.  Mary’s life was changed forever, but I don’t doubt it was better than she could ever imagine.

I’m sure Mary’s modest testimony would be that out of all the women God could have chosen, He chose her.  Pushing past fear, criticism and her own plans for her life, Mary became a vessel.  What will your 2008 testimony be?  Is God trying to bring one single thing or multiple things through you?

Like Mary, God needs us to trust Him.  And know, as Gabriel said, “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Doubt and fear may arise, but like with Mary, faith can overcome it all.  You may feel inadequate like Mary.  Or you may have other plans for you life, like Mary.  Yet when you partner with God, He can let what He’s planted in you come to pass.

Montrica’s third pregnancy was as healthy as pregnancies can be and on November 3, 2000, Micah Floyd was born.  Reaching every milestone, Micah crawled, walked and said “Dada” and “Mama” on schedule.  Also, Micah had received all his immunizations; however, prior to his 16-month shot, Micah began pulling on his right ear. After a visit with the pediatrician, he was diagnosed with a slight ear infection and given antibiotics to treat it. Despite this one ear infection, Micah had a healthy infancy.  But by the time Micah was two, family members began to question his quietness.  Granted, Micah could say a few words, but other than that he was silent.  Montrica tried not to be too concerned; she chalked it up to his personality.  Perhaps Micah was going to be a quieter child, she thought.  However, in 2003 Montrica decided to test her son’s hearing on her own.  One day when she came home from work, her handsome toddler greeted her at the door.

“Say ‘Mama’,” Montrica pleaded as she looked into Micah’s eyes.

Obediently, Micah obliged.  Staring into his mom’s eyes he mouthed “Ma-Ma.”  Montrica was crushed.  Pulling Micah close to her heart, she tearfully shouted, “Lord, my baby can’t hear me!”  It was then Montrica knew God had given her a special child that needed immediate attention. 

As Montrica reflected on the thought of her child not being able to hear, the Lord brought to mind a prophecy given while she was nine months pregnant with Micah.  The prophet said the child will be a boy (which she already knew thanks to the ultrasound) and he would be a prophet of the Most High God.  With this in mind Montrica knew Micah would hear, talk and fulfill the prophecy of God.

Without hesitation, Montrica had speech therapists and audiologists examine Micah.  Instantly, Micah was diagnosed with a mild hearing loss; but, after further testing, he was identified with having moderate to severe loss.  Intervention had to occur fast, but the school that could help him was full.  Everything looked impossible, but with God’s favor all things were possible. Kathy Irving, the school audiologist, pulled some strings and Micah soon became a student of The Magnolia Speech School in Jackson, MS.  Isn’t God’s favor on time?

Well, the staff aggressively worked with Micah to help build his language and listening skills.  And after a thorough evaluation to find out where he needed the most help, Micah was given intensive speech therapy.  Yet during their evaluation the Magnolia school learned that Micah’s hearing wasn’t moderate to severe, but severe to profound!  Micah needed better hearing aids if he was going to improve, but Medicaid wouldn’t pay for the new aids. 

Once again, things looked bleak for Micah.  But God’s favor wouldn’t allow Micah to be denied.  It was Kathy Irving that came to Micah’s defense again.  She called Phonak, the hearing aid company, and explained Micah’s situation.  They switched his hearing aid out for free–$2,000 difference!  God moved again.  The Meeks rejoiced in knowing God cared and that Micah was getting the help he desperately needed.

It’s been five years since Micah was diagnosed.  The Meeks have since moved from Mississippi and now live in Minooka, IL.  In June 2006, Micah had a cochlear implant put in his right ear.  Cochlear implants are implanted electronic hearing devices that help produce hearing sensations.  After the surgery, Micah’s hearing was tested.  The results were awesome.  Micah went from severe-profound loss to normal hearing! 

Montrica knows that Micah still isn’t 100% better, but with God’s help she is strengthened and encouraged that Micah will be healed.  Isaiah 35:1-6 is what Montrica hides in her heart believing that the ears of the deaf will be unstopped and one day Micah will fully hear the world around him.