Posted under Children

As a mother, the greatest responsibility I have is to teach my child to love God, herself and others. It’s tough in today’s world for sure. I know I can’t do it alone. With a grateful heart, I often talk about “deposits” others have made into my Gracie. I’m thankful for a core of friends and family that regularly interact with Grace by loving, affirming, encouraging, praying for, playing with and even correcting her when necessary. These are critical pieces to not just my child’s development, but all children need to have these supports, even from outside their immediate family, in order to grow and feel part of their community - both natural & spiritual.

While checking out a new resource for working with young families and children, I came across Search Institute and found great stuff to help myself as well as to help me assist families with whom I work. It’s worth sharing.  Be an asset to a young person. Learn more about the building blocks of healthy development that help young people grow up positive, caring and responsible.

The following is a just a portion of the 40 assets that all children and young people need to succeed. They provide a strong foundation for growing up confident, competent and capable. Share what you learn with a young person in your life today.  Check out the full piece on the Search Institute’s website under Developmental Assets, which includes ages preschool through adolescents, as well as the resource in many other languages.  http://www.search-institute.org/assets/assetlists.html

External Assets

Supports

1. Family support—Parent(s) and/or primary caregiver(s) provide the child with high levels of consistent and predictable love, physical care, and positive attention in ways that are responsive to the child’s individuality.

2. Positive family communication—Parent(s) and/or primary caregiver(s) express themselves positively and respectfully, engaging young children in conversations that invite their input.

3. Other adult relationships—With the family’s support, the child experiences consistent, caring relationships with adults outside the family.

4. Caring neighbors—The child’s network of relationships includes neighbors who provide emotional support and a sense of belonging.

5. Caring climate in child-care and educational settings—Caregivers and teachers create environments that are nurturing, accepting, encouraging, and secure.

6. Parent involvement in child care and education—Parent(s), caregivers, and teachers together create a consistent and supportive approach to fostering the child’s successful growth.
Empowerment

7. Community cherishes and values young children- Children are welcomed and included throughout community life.

8. Children seen as resources - The community demonstrates that children are valuable resources by investing in a child-rearing system of family support and high-quality activities and resources to meet children’s physical, social, and emotional needs.

9. Service to others - The child has opportunities to perform simple but meaningful and caring actions for others.

10. Safety - Parent(s), caregivers, teachers, neighbors, and the community take action to ensure children’s health and safety.
Boundaries & Expectations

11. Family boundaries - The family provides consistent supervision for the child and maintains reasonable guidelines for behavior that the child can understand and achieve.

12. Boundaries in child-care and educational settings - Caregivers and educators use positive approaches to discipline and natural consequences to encourage self-regulation and acceptable behaviors.

13. Neighborhood boundaries - Neighbors encourage the child in positive, acceptable behavior, as well as intervene in negative behavior, in a supportive, nonthreatening way.

14. Adult role models - Parent(s), caregivers, and other adults model self-control, social skills, engagement in learning, and healthy lifestyles.

15. Positive peer relationships - Parent(s) and caregivers seek to provide opportunities for the child to interact positively with other children.

16. Positive expectations - Parent(s), caregivers, and teachers encourage and support the child in behaving appropriately, undertaking challenging tasks, and performing activities to the best of her or his abilities.
Constructive Use of Time

17. Play and creative activities - The child has daily opportunities to play in ways that allow self-expression, physical activity, and interaction with others.

18. Out-of-home and community programs - The child experiences well-designed programs led by competent, caring adults in well maintained settings.

19. Religious community - The child participates in age-appropriate religious activities and caring relationships that nurture her or his spiritual development.

Posted under Children

Happy New Year! As we settle deeper into this chilly season, let’s talk about keeping our kids healthy by eating right.  One of my favorite Christmas gifts is the cookbook Deceptively Delicious:  Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Foods, by Jessica Seinfeld.  Inside this Oprah recommended cookbook are easy mouthwatering recipes that the most overwhelmed families can make, stealthy packed with unseen veggies, pureed so kids will never suspect.

Ellie Krieger, who is the Food Network Host, mom, and spokesperson for the Just One More for Healthy Living campaign, offers some terrific tips for helping your family take simple but significant steps each day towards a healthy lifestyle. Try these strategies to incorporate more fruit and veggies into your daily diet. Those extra nutrients will give you the energy you’ll need to plow through the winter months.
1. Teach your kids to “Eat the Rainbow” every day. This is a fun way for kids to get the nutrition they need. Kids love to keep track of all the colors they eat during the day - even green!

2. Get the kids involved. When children have a role in meal planning, they are more inclined to eat it. Get them excited about the process!

3. Incorporate 30 extra minutes of activity into each day. This doesn’t have to be 30 consecutive minutes. Try parking in the farthest parking spot at the mall parking lot, taking the stairs, or walking the dog an extra block.

4. Always (or as often as possible) eat around the table with the family. Studies show that this promotes healthy eating habits and decreases the risk of obesity and obesity-related diseases down the road.

5. Introduce your children to new foods regularly, and don’t give up if they’re not immediately a hit. The more you offer new foods, the greater variety of foods your child will eat.

6. Let your child make choices. As long as she’s selecting nutritious foods, it’s okay to allow your child to pick what she wants to eat, even if it means she’s eating a particular food again and again for a while.

7. Offer healthy snacks. If your child doesn’t eat at one mealtime, you can offer a nutritious snack, such as fresh fruit, vegetable, or whole-grain crackers, a few hours later.

8. Try going organic. This doesn’t have to be expensive or inconvenient; you can get canned organic produce year round at your local grocer (Del Monte offers a complete line of organic canned veggies). Some research indicates that organic produce can contain up to 40% more antioxidants than non-organic, and contains no harmful pesticides.

9. The golden rules for high-energy eating: Never go more than four or five hours without eating, and include some protein at each meal or snack - like individual tuna salad packs, cheese sticks, or nuts. Keep your cupboards stocked with healthy foods you can grab and eat on the go.

Posted under Children

19 Humility
“God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all,” (Titus 3:2).

20 Compassion
“Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion,” (Colossians 3:12).

21 Responsibility
“Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load,” (Galatians 6:5).

22 Contentment
“Father, teach my children ‘the secret of being content in any and every situation. …through him who gives [them] strength,” (Philippians 4:12-13).

23 Faith
“I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them,” (Luke 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40).

24 A servant heart
“God, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as to the Lord, and not to men,” (Ephesians 6:7, KJV).

25 Hope
“May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit,” (Romans 15:13).

26 The willingness and ability to work hard
“Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, ‘as working for the Lord, not for men, ” (Colossians 3:23).

27 A passion for God
“Lord, please instill in my children a soul that ‘followeth hard after thee, a heart that clings passionately to you,” (Psalm 63:8, KJV).

28 Self-discipline
“Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire ‘a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair, ” (Proverbs 1:3).

29 Prayerfulness
“Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to ‘pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests,” (Ephesians 6:18).

30 Gratitude
“Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” (Colossians 2:7, Ephesians 5:20).

31 A heart for missions
“Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples,” (Psalms 96:3).

“I believe this simple prayer program will not only change how we pray, but also how our children pray…and, by God’s grace, how they live as well.” Bob Hostetler

Bob Hostetler’s books include the award-winning Don’t Check Your Brains at the Door (coauthored with Josh McDowell) and They Call Me A.W.O.L. He lives near Oxford, Ohio, with his wife, Robin, and two children. You can purchase his 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Kids prayer cards and other prayer tools at http://www.navpress.com/Store/Product/1576839001.html

Posted under Children

8 Mercy
“May my children always ‘be merciful, as [their] Father is merciful,’ ” (Luke 6:36).

9 Respect (for self, others, authority)
“Father, grant that my children may ’show proper respect to everyone,’ as your Word commands,” (1 Peter 2:17a).

10 Strong, biblical self-esteem
“Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are ‘God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus,’ ” (Ephesians 2:10).

11 Faithfulness
” ‘Let love and faithfulness never leave [my children],’ but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts,” (Proverbs 3:3).

12 Courage
“May my children always ‘Be strong and courageous’ in their character and in their actions,” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

13 Purity
” ‘Create in [them] a pure heart, O God,’ and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions,” (Psalms 51:10).

14 Kindness
“Lord, may my children ‘always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else,’ ” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

15 Generosity
“Grant that my children may ‘be generous and willing to share [and so] lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age,’ ” (1 Timothy 6:18-19).

16 Peace, peaceability
“Father, let my children ‘make every effort to do what leads to peace,’ ” (Romans 14:19).

17 Joy
“May my children be filled ‘with the joy given by the Holy Spirit,’ ” (1 Thessalonians 1:6).

18 Perseverance
“Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to ‘run with perseverance the race marked out for [them],’ ” (Hebrews 12:1).

Posted under Children

Parked in our driveway, enjoying the peace accompanying a sleeping child, I was weeping & praying for the families of recently martyred Christians in Turkey. Three year old Grace, still buckled in her safety seat, woke up and quickly asked, “Why are you crying, Mommy?” I simply told her I was praying for other people who were hurting, and asking God to hold them…to heal them. Tenderly, Grace began to pray, asking Jesus to hold and heal.

What a moment for this mission’s hearted mom.  Even before her birth, I prayed for my daughter to have a heart for the harvest. If you are like me, you want God’s very best for your child…every gift cultivated, wisdom in situations, protection and so much more. I’ve found a great tool to help me pray effectively for my daughter.

A praying parent himself, Bob Hostetler developed a parent’s prayer program which assists us in covering all the bases when it comes to covering our children in prayer.  31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Kids pairs a character trait or fruit of the spirit with a scripture for every day of the month.  Per Mr. Hostetler, feel free to duplicate it — or improve upon it — to help you pray specifically and purposefully for your children to experience and evidence:

1    Salvation
“Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory,” (Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10).

2    Growth in grace
“I pray that they may ‘grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,’ ” (2 Peter 3:18).

3    Love
“Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to ‘live a life of love,’ through the Spirit who dwells in them,” (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22).

4    Honesty and integrity
“May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection,” (Psalm 25:21, NLT).

5    Self-control
“Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be ‘alert and self-controlled’ in all they do,” (1 Thessalonians 5:6).

6    A love for God’s Word
“May my children grow to find your Word ‘more precious than gold, than much pure gold; [and] sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb,’ ” (Psalm 19:10).

7    Justice
“God, help my children to love justice as you do and to ‘act justly’ in all they do,” (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8).

Posted under Children

My name is Carmen, mom of one busy, bubbling three year old.  I’m a child development specialist by profession, but I’ve come to realize in the last three years that the “specialist” part of my credentials is more about the grace of parenting rather than any graduate training endured.  It’s not necessarily head knowledge that is key, but what’s fashioned in the heart in the day to day loving, living and learning as a mother. Perhaps it’s a combination of both head and heart with an ample dose of God’s grace. It’s my aim to grow together in this season of teaching our children to love God, others and themselves.

With fall right around the corner, many prepare for transition as the new school year approaches.  Remember when you faced a new situation? Perhaps you didn’t know how to find the room, schedule, or maybe what to wear or what was expected of you.   Think about how overwhelming new situations must be for young children who have far less experience in dealing with the unknown. When your child is about to enter a group program, be it preschool, kindergarten or other, you both may find it hard adjusting to saying goodbye each day.  JB McCracken’s So Many Goodbyes provides insight regarding such transitions.  http://www.spanishfork.org/about/childcare/childcare3.pdf

Prepare yourself
-    Good feelings are contagious!  Be genuinely enthusiastic and confident about the upcoming change and your child will be as well.

-    Know how children typically respond to separation. Young children in the throes of separation anxiety may cry, scream or cling.  Prepare yourself with your most delightful smile and confident hug to work through the adjustment.

Prepare your child
-    Talk about the upcoming changes, placing it in context with familiar events like, “Remember how the pool opens for the summer and then closes when the days get cool? When the pool closes, it will be time for kindergarten.”

-    Visit the classroom and meet the teacher or a classmate in advance

-    Read books such as Oh My Baby, Little One by K. Appelt or I Love You All Day Long by F. Rusackas

Create comfortable routines
-    Let your child help lay out clothes or pack the lunch

-    Tuck a familiar object, note or picture in a pocket or cubby

Take time for transitions
-    Settle your child before leaving without rushing. Develop consistent routines around the separation: sign in, put things in a cubby & say goodbye from a special window.

-    Consider going in early the first few days, ahead of bustling classroom activity, to connect with a teacher.

Saying goodbye
-    Always say goodbye with a kiss, a hug, and a wave with a reminder of when you will be back.

-    Peg your return to an activity the child knows, such as the afternoon snack. You might say, “I’ll pick you up right after the afternoon snack.” Then do just that.

When you return
-    Establish a predictable pick-up schedule from the beginning to build confidence that they can count on you to come back when you said you would.

-    Talk about the day, theirs & yours, giving everyone a sense of accomplishment and togetherness.

-    Be available to your child at the end of the day, despite running low on energy and patience.

Soon the daily separation and the joy of being together again will become part of the day for everyone.  You will have met another challenge of parenting and your child will have learned that the world includes hellos and goodbyes!

Grace~
Carmen Tibbs, M.Ed/CDS
Child Development Specialist

Posted under Children