H2H » Humor & Quotes

To You, My Butterflies

admin — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:05:33 +0000

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don’t do what they’re supposed to do.

Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT………
Sisters are there,
no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you.
A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley’s end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you…Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunts, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn’t be the same without women.

When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.

Funny Resolutions For New Year

admin — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:56:58 +0000

Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.

Don’t eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

Learn what ”resolution” means.

Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.

I will always “check for paper” when leaving the restroom.

I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.

I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.

I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly!

I will try to figure out why I really need nine e-mail addresses.

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will read the manual… Just as soon as I can find it.

I will think of a password other than “password.”

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

Read fewer books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.

Watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

Now that you’ve had a good laugh. Resolve to make resolutions that you know you will keep.

Keep the “Christ” in Christmas

admin — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:56:24 +0000

“…But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people. For to you is born this day in the town of David a Saviour, Who is Christ (the Messiah) the Lord!…” – Luke 2: 10-11

So often these days we see Christmas with the ‘Christ’ taken out and replaced with an ‘X’. It’s almost as if it’s a nameless celebration. We as Christians know how far from the truth that is. We read here of angels appearing to the shepherds and declaring the birth of Jesus “Son of David – who is the Christ (the Messiah)”. It is in no way a ‘nameless’ event – but a wonderful celebration of the greatest event – the birth of Christ, and the reconciliation to God He brought to us all.

So let’s keep the ‘Christ’ in Christmas.

Christmas must always start with Christ
For He has saved us and changed our lives

Back To School

admin — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 11:52:03 +0000

Teacher’s Back to School Quote

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time,
All of whom had different needs,
And some of whom didn’t want to be there and were causing trouble,
And the doctor, lawyer, or dentist,
Without assistance,
Had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months,
Then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher’s job.- Donald D. Quinn

Funny Back to School Quotes

Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

- Gracie Allen

When I was in school I was the teacher’s pet. She kept me on a leash and let me sleep at the foot of her desk.

The kids going back to school this year are facing a crucial decision: should they dress like 50 Cent or Hannah Montana?

It’s time to get back to the basics and give our children what they really need — reading, writing, arithmetic … Mothers, fathers…..

They’re having a Back-to-School celebration in my neighborhood — with dancing and singing and yelling and jumping up and down. It’s going to last all week. It’s not for the kids — it’s for the mothers.
I think I would have been a better student in elementary school, but every time I raised my hand to answer a question, the teacher sent me to the bathroom.

The Pride of Our Country

admin — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:16:15 +0000

By Roger Robicheau

Today as before, our brave do fight
For a land they love, a flag so right

The pride of our country, yes they are
The strength of our nation, best by far

Just as our brave from each war gone by
They march for us proudly, flag held high

From all over this land they come to serve
They’re taught by the best, this they deserve

When troops give their all, the world does see
Whether serving on land, in the air, or at sea

The pride from this country, march through war
With home drawn strength, held deep in their core

Our best are so awesome, their loved ones well know
May God guide their journey where they – for us – go

What these brave must have is support from their own
The love from their people, firm thankfulness shown

Our greatest achievement is that we’re still free
Please take time and ponder who caused this to be

Father’s Day

admin — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:15:35 +0000

Fathers seldom say “I love you”
Though the feeling’s always there,
But somehow those three little words
Are the hardest ones to share.
And fathers say “I love you”
In ways that words can’t match -
With tender bedtime stories -
Or a friendly game of catch!
You can see the words “I love you”
In a father’s boyish eyes
When he runs home, all excited,
With a poorly wrapped surprise.
A father says “I love you”
With his strong helping hands -
With a smile when you’re in trouble
With the way he understands.
He says “I love you” haltingly,
With awkward tenderness -
(It’s hard to help a four-year-old into a party dress!)
He speaks his love unselfishly
By giving all he can
To make some secret dream come true,
Or follow through a plan.
A father’s seldom-spoken love
Sounds clearly through the years -
Sometimes in peals of laughter,
Sometimes through happy tears.
Perhaps they have to speak their love
In a fashion all their own.
Because the love that fathers feel
Is too big for words alone!

Author Unknown

Before I Was a Mom

admin — Sun, 03 May 2009 18:09:54 +0000

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on,
Pooped on,
Chewed on,
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because

I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life

submitted by Barbara J. Ganaway

Easter Symbols and Their Significance

admin — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:16:04 +0000

Lamb:
The Jews used to sacrifice a lamb during Passover. Jesus died for our sins during Passover season, so He was our “Lamb”–we never need to sacrifice an animal again! Also, just days before He died, He called all who listen to Him His sheep.

Colored Eggs and chicks:
Chicks newly-hatched from eggs represent life where none seemingly existed before — like Jesus coming from the tomb! There is an old legend that speaks to colored eggs. The story goes that when Jesus fell carrying the cross on His way to Calvary, a man stepped forward and lovingly helped Jesus when He stumbled and fell. The man was Simon of Cyrene. When Simon returned home to tend his chores, he found that all the eggs the hens had laid were colored with many different colors. Coloring eggs for Easter probably came from the fasts done preceding Easter (Lent) in eastern Europe. The faithful would not eat certain foods, like meat, dairy products, or eggs — a way of going without, like Christ did in the desert (still common in Orthodox churches today.) In rural areas, that means the eggs really piled up! So they were painted and colored and used ornamentally on Easter to represent joy, festivity, and celebration of new life.

Easter Basket:
The baskets with colored eggs comes as a continuation of the egg-painting done in the old world. When Easter Sunday came, the faithful would take their Easter feast food (very symbolic–like bread for the Bread of Life, butter shaped like a lamb etc.) and the eggs they had painted to church to be blessed. It was taken in, of course, a basket! And remember that the symbolism goes further–to Moses, who led God’s people to freedom…and lived to do so because he was saved as a baby by being hidden away in a basket.

Easter Lily:
A strongly-scented flower that “trumpets” the new life of spring from barren cold ground…as we are to sweetly trumpet the good news that arose from a cold, barren tomb.

Easter bunny:
This is our family’s conjecture: rabbits multiply and multiply, are sweet and gentle, are God’s creatures. So as Christians we are to multiply our number by spreading the good news, be peaceful and loving, and know that we are completely God’s creatures. As for the Easter Bunny, it probably arrived in our culture like the current secularized Santa and the tooth fairy.

Hot cross buns:
Small, sweet raisin biscuits with Jesus’ cross on top made of frosting were made by a monk in old England as an Easter gift for the poor. He encountered some pride at being given ‘charity’, so he sold them for just a penny or less and put the money in the poor box at the church.

The Mom Test

admin — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:53:00 +0000

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from
her and asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s
dirty, and probably has germs,” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
“Momma, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom Test.
You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mom, ” I replied.

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information. “OHHH…I get it!” she beamed. “So if you
don’t pass the test, you have to be the dad.”

“Exactly,” I replied with a big smile on my face.

Medical Breakthrough

admin — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:50:03 +0000

Prescribed by the Great Physician

The next time you feel like God can’t use you just remember…

Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Leah was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses had a stuttering problem, Gideon was afraid, Samson had long hair and was a womanizer, Rahab was a prostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David had an affair and was a murderer, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran from God, Naomi was a widow, Job went bankrupt, Peter denied Christ, the Disciples fell asleep while praying, Martha worried about everything, the Samaritan woman was divorced – more than once, Zaccheus was too small, Paul was too religious, Timothy had an ulcer….

AND

Lazarus was dead!

Now!

No more excuses! God can use you to your full potential…Besides, you aren’t the message, you are just the messenger. And one more thing…

Share this with a friend or two…In the Circle of God’s love. God is waiting to use your full potential.

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

Dear God, I have a problem, it’s Me.

Growing old is inevitable…growing UP is optional

There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.

Do the math…count your blessings.

Faith is the ability to not panic.

Laugh every day, it’s like inner jogging.

If you worry, you didn’t pray. If you pray, don’t worry.

As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

The most important things in your house are people.

When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

Have a great day!!!

The SON is shining and he can certainly use you.

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’ Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)